Family and friends FAQs

If someone else's gambling harm is impacting you, support is available.

Below are questions frequently asked by family and friends of someone who is gambling. If you want to find out more about how to help a person change their gambling, contact the Gambling Help service on 1800 858 858 to confidentially speak to a counsellor. The Gambling Help service is a free, 24/7 service.

WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP THEM STOP?

Two things family and friends can do to encourage gamblers to think about change are:

Talk to them about your concerns. Most people who make changes to their gambling do so when they are ready. They must identify that their gambling is harmful. Family and friends can be significant in assisting loved ones to change their gambling and to seek help. Talk to your family member or friend about your concerns, and how you are affected. Here are some tips on how to talk to someone about gambling harm.
Look after yourself. When a person's gambling harm is impacting you, it is important to take care of yourself. Support is available for those who are affected by another person's gambling. Here is some information about how to look after yourself when someone else's gambling is taking a toll on your mental health, your finances, your relationship, or your wellbeing.

WHEN WILL THEY CHANGE THEIR GAMBLING?

Once people recognise gambling is harmful, they may or may not try to change their gambling.

Researchers spoke to a group of individuals experiencing gambling harm. They asked “How long did it take to start using self-help change strategies once you realised that gambling was [harmful]?”

23% said they started using self-help strategies within one year
20% said it took more than ten years to start using self-help strategies.

It’s hard to know how long it takes for people to start thinking about change. Other studies asked individuals why they sought help to change their gambling. The most common reasons reported for seeking help for gambling were:

Financial concern
Relationship issues
Feeling bad (psychological distress).^{2, 3}

¹Lubman, Rodda, Hing, Cheetham, Cartmill, Nuske, Hodgins & Cunningham (2015). Gambler Self-Help Strategies: A Comprehensive Assessment of Self-Help Strategies and Actions. Gambling Research Australia. Melbourne.

²Pulford, J., Bellringer, M., Abbott, M., Clarke, D., Hodgins, D. et al. (2009) Reasons for Seeking Help for a Gambling Problem: The Experiences of Gamblers Who Have Sought Specialist Assistance and the Perceptions of Those Who Have Not. Journal of Gambling Studies (Online); New York25.1 (Mar 2009): 19-32.

³Suurvali, H., Hodgins, D. C., Toneatto, T., Cunningham, J. A . (2012) Motivators for Seeking Gambling-Related Treatment Among Ontario Problem Gamblers. Journal of Gambling Studies (Online); New York 28.2 (Jun 2012): 273-96.

HOW CAN GAMBLING COUNSELLING HELP?

Counselling can help individuals make changes to gambling and related behaviours. Gambling counselling can also support those affected by someone else's gambling.

If you are wondering about how counselling works, learn more on the thinking about change page.

WHY CAN’T THEY JUST "STOP GAMBLING"?

Reducing or changing gambling can be incredibly difficult for some individuals.

Individuals often have mixed feelings about their gambling. "Stopping gambling" can be scary. It might feel like admitting defeat or giving up.

Gambling excites people with incentives like entertainment, excitement, distraction, and the possibility of a win. While gambling may be harmful, individuals may feel the benefits or possibilities outweigh the negative impacts.

WHAT CAN I DO IF THEY DON’T WANT TO CHANGE OR REDUCE THEIR GAMBLING?

It can be upsetting when your loved one does not want to change or reduce their gambling. Learn about thinking about change.

If someone else's gambling is impacting you, support is available.

WHY WON’T THEY GET HELP FOR THEIR GAMBLING HARM?

Individuals may be reluctant to talk about their gambling and to seek help to make changes.

Common reasons individuals do not get help for their gambling harm include:

They don’t think that gambling is harmful
They feel embarrassed to admit their gambling is harmful
They want to try to fix the problem themselves without professional help.

WHAT HAPPENS IN GAMBLING COUNSELLING?

Counsellors work with a individuals to work through their concerns in relation to gambling.

A counsellor won't tell them to "stop gambling" or what to do.

Gambling counselling includes working together to devise effective strategies and coping mechanisms to change gambling. Each person will have unique challenges and concerns, so what happens in counselling will vary from person to person.

To find out more, read the page Thinking About Change.

HOW CAN COUNSELLING HELP FAMILY MEMBERS, PARTNERS, AND FRIENDS OF THOSE WHO GAMBLE?

About 30% of clients who access Gambling Help are family members and friends of individuals who gamble.

Your mental health, finances, and relationships may be impacted when a loved one is experiencing gambling harm.

You can learn more about what support is available to you here or by ringing 1800 858 858.

Gambling Help can assist with:

self-care
education
relationship issues
communication skills
emotional help and support
increase understanding of gambling harm
referrals to protect family income, assets, and finances
strategies to reduce distress/stress/anxiety/depression
making important decisions about your relationships with the person who is gambling,

WHAT CAN I DO TO PROTECT MYSELF WHEN A LOVED ONE IS EXPERIENCING GAMBLING HARM?

When a loved one is experiencing gambling harm, it may impact your mental health, finances, relationships, and more.

Protecting yourself can include lots of different actions. Learn more about what you can do to look after yourself when another person's gambling is taking a toll on your life. Support is available through Gambling Help.